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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2007|01:53 am]
Dear Costco customers,

That's not going to fit in your car! That is entirely too large to fit into this tiny vehicle. Your lack of foresight has brought shame to us both. 

Bad! That's a bad customer! No!


P.S. You know what I hear is nice? Sam's Club. They've got free kittens. 

Kittens not your thing? Fine. They've got free awkward old-people ointments. Now with 40% more awkward and 40% less ointment.

P.P.S. If you leave your baby in the grocery cart during checkout, it's officially OK for me to pile bread on top of him or her. That way the bread won't get smushed, and the baby's got plenty of plastic to play in.
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"Hebrew Hotdogs" would have a totally different meaning during the holocaust. [Jul. 29th, 2007|11:39 pm]
Dear Costco customers,

No seriously. That's entirely too much food. You can't eat all that.


P.S. You don't need all that water!
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2007|12:27 am]
Dear Costco customers,

You don't need all that food.

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(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2007|01:11 am]

Yeah. 4 dimensions. Think about that.
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There is no subject. [Apr. 17th, 2007|11:53 pm]
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(no subject) [Apr. 12th, 2007|11:19 pm]

On a related topic...

- I have 3 Whataburger number-triangles: 14, 21, and 28. They're all factors of 7. Combining that with the 7 dwarves and 7 continents, and it turns out Jim Carrey murdered people. 

- My dream job would be to own my own towel-business. I'd be the CEO of the largest towel producer in the Northern hemisphere (that's the best hemisphere). All the towel-profits would let me buy my dream house. It'd be a gigantic hexagonal glass building with one door, leading to a spirally slide, leading to the worlds largest plastic-ball pit. 

- "Brazil" is the best movie/country combination in the world. For those unfamiliar with them, one is a chilling tale of forced conformity and bureaucracy from some of the creators of Monty Python, and the other speaks Portuguese. 

- Hi mom!

- Hillary's the best.

- I aced the punctuation section of the Grammar-Spelling-Punctuation test. So if anyone has commas, I'm now licensed to show you where to put them. 

- Social conflict and class struggles were a major factor leading to the religious revivals of Rochester, NY in the early 1800's. 

- I have two more plants, both little Jack-Pine tree seedlings.  

-Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler.

- House M.D. is great. Not Hillary great, but still really really good. 

- The time is now.

- April 10th was the 100th day of the year. 

- My mom's cousin is one of the zombies in Grindhouse (the one with the gigantic overflowing brain), and Bruce Willis' stunt-double. 

- My favorite color is grey. With an "e".
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I have a tree. [Feb. 17th, 2007|01:58 am]
Day One:

Day One Hundred and Eight:

It grew.
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I hereby proclaim this poetic. [Jan. 28th, 2007|12:46 am]

Top 5 things I should update about:

1) I have 16 separate plants in my apartment. 
2) The person living below me complained to the apartment staff that I was walking around too loudly, and after a few months of me walking around as loudly as I could, the staff came up here, saw that I was awesome and my place was snazzy, then told the guy below me to shut up and deal. 
3) Aaron Aiken's Haiku!:

You are twenty-two!
Refrigerator magnet,
Sorry about Colt.

Hope you found your class,
Down the hall and to the left,
If there was a left.

Watch out for hippies.
Hallucinogenic drugs.
(And happy birthday)

4) Nope, th
5) at's it.
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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2006|06:52 pm]
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(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2006|12:18 am]

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."
-Carl Sagan
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